It's probably with grad school applications, and my parents talking about graduation and summer plans, I've been thinking about this coming summer a lot.
I suddenly miss CTY bunches and bunches.
At the end of the six weeks this past summer, I thought I had a good time. I wondered, if I went back to Northwestern and facilitated for GSW, whether I will get the same satisfaction from teaching college freshman as with middle schoolers. The latter show so much more enthusiasm for learning - but of course, I spend more time with them and I know them better. But GSW never happened (because of lack of enrollment), and I spent this quarter without teaching.
My introduction to Teach for America probably reawakened the teacher in me. Adding to my confusion of what I want to do research in, I was suddenly faced with the question of whether my broad interests makes me better suited as a teacher than as a professor. Although I TA'ed one subject for CTY, I am more free to talk about different topics, and draw the students deeper into learning.
And then just now I found a tribute video to the Stanford CTY RAs, who are planning a bay area reunion. I held myself the whole time, smiling at the faces of people I haven't seen for 4 months, and wishing fervently I was back at Stanford.
Even barring certain other memorable things, I still want to go back.
But this summer, Stanford's not offering the robotics program. CTY this year, if I do it, will be with different people, at a different place. It's not bad; it just won't be the same.
And right now, all I want is to be wind the clock back to July.